Friday was my last day working with the SmartCare project for this trip.   Chrys and I tag-teamed to finish and render the introductory video module we have been producing for the last few weeks, and copies of completed program are now in the hands of some funding executives who were visiting earlier this week from Washington DC.  The SmartCare management team has seen the video and are pleased with it as well and have said it is targeted really well for what is needed in the field, so I am very, very happy.  I also finished up a last bit of polish to a set of updated job aids for clinical staff  and that was another deliverable from this chapter.  These will be printed when Chrys returns from her brief trip to Denver. 

Chrys and I flew to London together last night – flight was long but quiet and uneventful.  We treated ourselves to a wonderful seafood buffet dinner in the Hilton attached to Terminal 4 and stayed there overnight.  It was a real blessing to have a night’s sleep where we were not too hot and it wasn’t a roulette game as to whether there would be enough water pressure for a nice long hot shower.  Don’t misunderstand me – life at Chrys’s in Lusaka was just perfect – these small acts of G-d and glitches in creature comforts were more a running joke than an inconvenience.  

After we checked out this morning, shuttled to the BA terminal 5 and got through passport control and security, we headed for Gordon Ramsay’s Plane Food for a delicious breakfast.  Chrys and I have now parted ways and she is headed to Denver to teach a Cisco class as part of keeping her certification up, and I head home to Seattle. My flight leaves in a few short hours.

Reflections on This Adventure

I woke up the last night in Lusaka thinking that what had been so unfamiliar and strange the first couple of weeks was now feeling familiar.  The neighborhood we live in, the route we walk to work, the stores we shop in, the campus where the internet cafe is, the neighbors and friends…in all honesty I feel as th0ugh the next time I come to Lusaka I will no longer be a “visitor” but a returning comrade.  My level of emotional, psychological and physical ‘comfortability’ with the slower and simpler  lifestyle,  the fewer creature comforts we so take for granted back home, the style of interaction with local people, etc…is now much higher.  I won’t feel like a stranger in a strange land.  I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, but there was definitely a turning point about a week or so ago that was profound for me.  I am sure that living with Chrys and having a daily routine that was more ‘local’ than tourist – and Chrys’s wonderful warmth and companionship made a huge difference and I will always be grateful to her for this.  The extended family she has cultivated in James, Marjory and her family, Janet, the SmartCare team, everyone – that she shared with me was a gift.  While I missed my family and friends at home, I felt that I was accepted and had a great mutual support system that made the 10,000 miles apart very manageable (Skype and texting really helped a ton too).  I will look forward to both reuniting with my Zambian clan and introducing them to my Seattle family in the not-too-distant future.

I had a very palpable and frankly uncomfortable experience last night as Chrys and I sat down to our first dinner outside Zambia.  The food was very plentiful and a bit of a splurge even by American standards…and while I enjoyed it, I found myself feeling odd – almost guilty – about the inequity of it all.  At one point Chrys said “Can you just imagine what Janet would say if she saw this dessert (of a decadent plate of small sweet treats)?”.  I got this very icky feeling in the pit of my stomach that was painful emotionally.  It just didn’t feel fair.  Chrys and I had many conversations along these lines during our time together, and I’d venture to guess that I will have my own bit of re-entry culture shock coming back to the very comfortable life I lead in Seattle.  Now more than ever in my life I know that I have nothing at all to complain about. NOTHING.  Sure, I have seen abject poverty and heartbreaking slums in Haiti, passed through very poor areas in places like Guadalajara and Costa Rica,  but I not until now lived side-by-side with people who viewed what I have as “expensive”…out of reach…decadent.  Nor have I until now had enough time to forge friendships with people who  wonder daily how they will feed their children, afford basic medical care and often can’t get it due to the cost, and through all that give openly of themselves and their hearts.  And they just get through, and they make it work as best they can.  I am humbled.

I have done what I can while in Zambia in my own small ways to bridge gaps – sharing of myself in as many ways as I could in the short time I have been among these wonderful people.  And I am returning to my home life with a commitment to continue looking for way to bridge the gap between where I am and where these dear friends are.  There is no value judgement in this – I don’t necessarily think that what I have is better or more valuable than what my Zambian friends have…to the contrary.  This experience has made me question what the ideal parity, or state of living really is.  Even more, it has spurred me to be much more introspective about how I want to live out the balance of my life – what my priorities are, how I will pass on new, broader perspectives to my children, and how I can incorporate these insights into my life with my loving partner, Andrew.  Without his support, this growth experience could not have happened for me, and I thank him unendingly for that.  I hope I can return this gift to him.

So, I sign off now from this chapter of my never-ending adventure of life (before I start crying on my keyboard).  I hope for a peaceful flight home, a sweet reunion with my family and friends, and for the opportunity to return to Zambia again and again.

Cheers!

Esther